The Tale of a Dog, Duck, and a House Plant

Once upon a time (queue music) there was a dog, named Marvin, and a duck named Günter, and a ficus named Emerson. They all lived quite happily in a little house, just down the street from a very nice market. While it took them all some time to get used to each other, eventually Günter learned to not swim in Marvin's water bowl, and Emerson learned to not sneak up on Günter and Marvin. But really this story isn't about the three of them, it's about me, and the day I interviewed for the worst job ever.
It was a Thursday afternoon, I remember it was Thursday because it was raining and Miss. Sanches downstairs always hangs her nylons out the window to dry on Thrusday, but she couldn't so she had them hanging in the hall, it was a ghastly sight. I had just lost my job as a convenience store clerk 3 days ago, and was actually quite pleased about that, but the prospect of living off my last paycheck was not pleasing at all. Yesterday I had applied for every job listed in the newspaper, and I had been called in for my first interview. I have no idea what the company did, or what the job actually was, I only know the office was in the middle of downtown and that had to be good. Wanting to make a good impression I deiced to get a head start on my day and show up early. This operation would require a substantial amount of caffeine, of which I had none. Immediately I ran across the hall, knowing that Günter and Marvin never minded early visitors, in fact Marvin was always over joyed to have company. Naturally they invited me in, saying they had just made a fresh pot and didn't want it to go to waste. We sat in the kitchen, and I told them about my job interview. They were very interested, and so was Emerson. I had never met Emerson before, I had always mistaken him for a houseplant that Günter enjoyed relocating. Emerson was sitting on the table when he suddenly spoke up and startled the living bejesus out of me.
"You will need to make one hell of an impression on these guys to get that job, if you listen to everything I tell you, I can guarantee you walk away not only with that job, but with twice the salary that they would offer to anyone else."
I don't make a habit out of talking to potted plants. In my life I believe I have only spoken to one or two, but this was the first time one has spoken to me. I don't know if you have ever been in a position where a plant was suddenly talking to you over coffee but I can tell you one thing, you listen.
Anyway, long story short, I wound up in the CEO's office, with Emerson on my head, performing a number from Caberet wearing only a sequined Bow-Tie and vest, and what I'm pretty sure are called pantaloons. And well wouldn't you know, I got the job, and three times the salary, and my own corner office. But I still have no clue what my job is.