can you lose what you didn't know you have?

The cruelest stroke is the one that makes you realize all that you didn't care you have, and all you didn't know you could lose. Sure you are left essentially whole, you haven't actually lost anything, or anyone. But now you can see that it could happen, and now you know what that would do to you. You know now that the loss of those that you didn't hold close enough would destroy you, and you now fear you let them get too close to the edge and you won't reach them before they fall.