Stardate 2011.113.50

Starting off with a bang. One should never feel hungover, without actually being hung over. My daughter also asked why she had to get new ears, and when she would get them before going to bed. And my son, being my son, turned christmas decorations into a "sledding hill" for his toy train, and then pretended it was out of control and screamed at the top of his lungs as he drove it down the hill into the wall, just before announcing that he "safe day!" This is how my year ended, and how it began.

Martyrs

Film: Martyrs

The only way I can really describe this masterful work of craftsmanship is to say;
It is a long agonizing journey through a visually stunning series of events that seems ultimately fruitless, yet inexplicably satisfying. Without a conventional ending to the story the audience is left feeling that this story is going to continue indefinitely even if you don't want it to.
BUT I could be completely wrong about this. That's the fun part about this, by the end of this film, I wasn't entirely sure what I just witnessed. It's elegant, horrifying, agonizing, beautiful, and unsettling all while leading you along to inevitable demise. You know you shouldn't go down those stairs, but the compulsion is too much to resist.

2010 Odyssey spaced

It's Twenty-Ten...Twenty-freaking-Ten...holy shit. The future is NOW. It may not be the cool future we all imagined when we were kids, but in a lot of ways it's not far off. Just think about the leap in technology over the last 10 years, we might get all those cool things we saw in Back To The Future 2 by 2025 after all. Although I think the things we will see will be more Star Trekish than that, more personal and portable computing power, and the growth of cloud computing. We are likely to see the death of the analog telecommunications systems. Wireless power transfer will become a standard. And wired connections will start to become a novelty or only used in specialized circumstances. It's going to slowly become weird when someone or something is not "connected to the matrix". There is going to be a point in time very soon when we will be able to get the status of every appliance and environmental conditions of our homes from not just one but any location. This is something I look forward to. Imagine logging into your home network from a remote location, turning your AC on, preheating your oven, checking the contents of your fridge and pantry, ordering grocery's from the store for pickup, setting your DVR to record that show you heard about at lunch, and checking to see if your kids are home while telling them you are just leaving the office and will be home soon. Yes the future looks cool, so I think I can live without the hover board for now.

29 and counting

29 years. It doesn't really seem like an accomplishment to be proud of to say I managed to survive without accidentally offing myself, but an accomplishment none the less. It's been an interesting ride, no doubt about that. I've found myself in many places with many people over the years, some less savory than others. I only wish I could say I remember them all, although I get the feeling that if did remember them all I would wish I didn't. I'm not going to list all the things I've done, or failed to do, I'm not even going to write a formal "bucket list". From this point, I'm just going to take what comes, try to be happy, and if at all possible try to make things better. Feels like I've taken a very long winding road to arrive where I am today, it's been a scenic drive to say the least. Not sure where this road will lead me tomorrow, but I look forward to finding out. For those that read this, you are most likely someone I'd count as a friend, or family, (or maybe someone that is just very confused and wondering when I will mention a random celebrity that photographed their naughty bits some years ago) I thank you for the parts you have all played in helping me on my way to becoming who I am (the good and the bad).
Now I would like to offer my official review of the past 29 years: Not Bad, borderline on good most of the time.

I have nothing more to say

The sun is setting
The mountains are burning up
I keep on driving

Shadows are creeping
Up the hillside through the trees
Silence fills the void

Driving to the night
It starts getting cold out here
In the dark alone

In and out of sleep
Surrender to the shadow
Drifting in the night

This is how the nightmare begins.

The Tale of a Dog, Duck, and a House Plant

Once upon a time (queue music) there was a dog, named Marvin, and a duck named Günter, and a ficus named Emerson. They all lived quite happily in a little house, just down the street from a very nice market. While it took them all some time to get used to each other, eventually Günter learned to not swim in Marvin's water bowl, and Emerson learned to not sneak up on Günter and Marvin. But really this story isn't about the three of them, it's about me, and the day I interviewed for the worst job ever.
It was a Thursday afternoon, I remember it was Thursday because it was raining and Miss. Sanches downstairs always hangs her nylons out the window to dry on Thrusday, but she couldn't so she had them hanging in the hall, it was a ghastly sight. I had just lost my job as a convenience store clerk 3 days ago, and was actually quite pleased about that, but the prospect of living off my last paycheck was not pleasing at all. Yesterday I had applied for every job listed in the newspaper, and I had been called in for my first interview. I have no idea what the company did, or what the job actually was, I only know the office was in the middle of downtown and that had to be good. Wanting to make a good impression I deiced to get a head start on my day and show up early. This operation would require a substantial amount of caffeine, of which I had none. Immediately I ran across the hall, knowing that Günter and Marvin never minded early visitors, in fact Marvin was always over joyed to have company. Naturally they invited me in, saying they had just made a fresh pot and didn't want it to go to waste. We sat in the kitchen, and I told them about my job interview. They were very interested, and so was Emerson. I had never met Emerson before, I had always mistaken him for a houseplant that Günter enjoyed relocating. Emerson was sitting on the table when he suddenly spoke up and startled the living bejesus out of me.
"You will need to make one hell of an impression on these guys to get that job, if you listen to everything I tell you, I can guarantee you walk away not only with that job, but with twice the salary that they would offer to anyone else."
I don't make a habit out of talking to potted plants. In my life I believe I have only spoken to one or two, but this was the first time one has spoken to me. I don't know if you have ever been in a position where a plant was suddenly talking to you over coffee but I can tell you one thing, you listen.
Anyway, long story short, I wound up in the CEO's office, with Emerson on my head, performing a number from Caberet wearing only a sequined Bow-Tie and vest, and what I'm pretty sure are called pantaloons. And well wouldn't you know, I got the job, and three times the salary, and my own corner office. But I still have no clue what my job is.

can you lose what you didn't know you have?

The cruelest stroke is the one that makes you realize all that you didn't care you have, and all you didn't know you could lose. Sure you are left essentially whole, you haven't actually lost anything, or anyone. But now you can see that it could happen, and now you know what that would do to you. You know now that the loss of those that you didn't hold close enough would destroy you, and you now fear you let them get too close to the edge and you won't reach them before they fall.